The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled…”What does it mean, let marriage bed be undefiled? Is it talking about the bed, mattress and the beddings of husband and wife? Is this a reference to mom and dad’s bedroom? This is euphemism.
The Bible has a way of using polite public language. We should learn from the Bible how to use such language that is not vulgar or offensive to the general public. We must not let the name of the Lord be spoken ill of because of how we speak.
This is what is called euphemism, that is, using a language that is less offensive or explicit. For example, instead of Jesus telling the disciples that ‘Lazarus has died’, he said that ‘our friend has slept.’
But what does this phrase, ‘marriage bed’ mean?
It is drawn from the word, ‘koith’ and it is from it that we have our English word, ‘coitus’ meaning sexual intercourse. But this word can also be translated, a bed or couch as a reference to the conjugal bed. It could also be translated chambering and it used in Romans 13:13 as a reference to sexual immorality, or lewdness. But it used here positively to refer to what husband and wife do, for pleasure and procreation.
This means sex is not a sport or game to be enjoyed at will or wantonly outside marriage. It is designed by God to be practised within the bonds of marriage by a husband and wife. When it is practised in any other context, it is breaking of the seventh commandment – “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” And in the Old Testament it was punishable by death!
There are two things that dishonour marriage – po,rnos or fornication and moico,s that is, adultery. How does fornication dishonour marriage? It is a defilement that dishonour marriage in advance, even before one is married. Unmarried people must guard themselves from doing such foolish activities that can steal their virginity and purity. Sexual chastity or purity is non-negotiable for believers. Those who fall into fornication bring awful baggage, injuries and wounds of defilement into their marriage.
The world today is so obsessed with sex as never before especially because of the influence of the mass-media, such as the TV, movie industry and the internet. Pornography has become a huge problem for many people and this also corrupts and has defiling effect both on the mind and the heart. It defiles marriage, tinting it with wicked external standards borrowed from Sodom and Gomorrah and Corinth. It is shocking that believers would draw any pleasure from seeing other people sin. Those who have fallen into this kind of trap need to flee to Christ and plead for deliverance. The Spirit is able to help you out of it if you would seek him. The Lord bids you to pray that you may not fall into temptations. Some of you need to change your lifestyle so seriously to be able to survive in this age without defiling yourself. This is because God will judge the sexually immoral people.
Adultery on the other hand dishonours marriage after it has been entered into, so that husband and wife are rent asunder when the covenant of marriage is breached. The Lord is very is clear in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 that we are to glorify God in our bodies. The body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body… Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? The question is shall you take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? NEVER! You the reason why you are to flee from sexual immorality is because, every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Marriage bed must not be defiled!
Defiled bed is one of the great causes of worst kind of distress in marriages. The language used here is awful. It is ‘whoredom’. There is no doubt that its effects are defiling – extra-marital affairs have led to the so called ‘unwanted pregnancies’ and this leading to abortions and illegitimate births, sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV & Aids among others. We live in a polluted culture and so God’s children must guard themselves from this vileness. This world is a Sodom of some sort and we have to watch out how we live lest we get swallowed by its effects.
If you don’t want divorce, then stay away from any form of sexual infidelity. Sexual sin like adultery is the only possible basis upon which marriage covenant can be annulled in divorce. When a divorce occurs the husband and wife are greatly affected, and almost always it leads to a level of depression. Divorce also adversely impact the children. The children live in an environment of being raised by one parent. You don’t want that!
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