He sent from above, He took me, He drew me
out of many waters.—Psalm. 18:16
Their righteousness is of Me, says the Lord.
— Isaiah. 54:17
When
first awakened to a sense of sin, Luther became unspeakably troubled. Once and
again deep anguish took hold of his soul, and it seemed as if he would sink
under it. On one occasion he had been conversing with a friend upon the things
of God. No sooner had the conversation ended, than the truths of which they had
been speaking struck home with awful power to the tossed soul of Luther. He
left the room and sought the nearest chamber to give vent to the feelings of
his bursting heart. He threw himself upon the bed and prayed aloud in agony;
repeating over and over again these words of the apostle, “He hath shut them all up in
unbelief, that He might have mercy upon all” (Rom. 11:32).
Luther now began to try to make himself holy.
He fasted for days together. He shut himself up alone in his cold cell. He
passed many nights, sometimes for weeks, without sleep. He read, he studied, he
prayed, he wept, he watched, he strove, but all in vain! He found himself as
far from holiness and peace as ever! If ever anyone could have gained heaven by
his own merits, Luther would have gained it. To those around him, he seemed the
holiest man alive. But the light of the law showed him that within all was
vile. His soul cried out for rest, but he found it not, for he was seeking it
not in God’s way, but in a way of his own. He wanted to be sure that his sins
were forgiven him, for he felt that until he knew this, he could not have
peace. But his fear increased upon him, and he knew not what to do, nor which
way to turn. He saw everything that he thought and did to be sin, and how could
he rest until he knew that all was forgiven! His friends told him to do good
works and that would satisfy the justice of God. Miserable comforters!
“What good
works,” said
he, “can proceed out of a heart like
mine; how can I, with works like these, stand before a holy Judge.” The
terrors of the fiery law compassed him about and consumed his soul. His “sore
ran in the night and ceased not.” He saw nothing in God but the angry Judge. He
had not yet learned the riches of His grace through Jesus Christ.
His bodily health gave way, “a wounded
spirit, who can bear?” He wasted away. He became thin and pale. His eyes, which
were peculiarly bright, looked wild with despair; and death seemed just at
hand. In this state he was visited by an old priest. His name was Staupitz. He
pitied the dying monk, and all the more so when he was told the cause of his
suffering, for he had himself passed through the same conflict. But he had
found the peace of Christ in his soul, and was therefore well fitted to give
counsel to Luther.
“It is in vain,” said Luther to him, “that I
make promises to God; sin is always too strong for me.” “Oh, my friend,” said
Staupitz, “I have often made vows myself, but I never could keep them; I now
make no more vows; for if God will not be merciful to me for Christ’s sake, I
cannot stand before Him with all my vows and works.”
Luther made known to him all his fears. He
spoke of God’s justice, God’s holiness, God’s sovereign majesty. How could he
stand before such a God?
“Why,” said his aged friend, “do you distress
yourself with these thoughts? Look to the
wounds of Jesus, to the blood which he has shed for you; it is there that you
will see the mercy of God. Cast yourself into the arms of the Savior. Trust
in Him — in the righteousness of His life — in the atoning sacrifice of His
death. Do not shrink away from Him. God
is not against you; it is only you who are averse from God. Listen to the
Son of God. He became man to assure you of the divine favor.”
Still Luther was dark. He thought he had not
repented properly, and asked, “How can I dare believe in the favor of God, so
long as there is in me no real conversion? I must be changed before He can
receive me.”
He is told that there can be no real
conversion so long as a man fears God as a stern judge. “There is,” said his
friend, “no true repentance but that which begins in the love of God and
righteousness. That which some fancy to be the end of repentance is only its
beginning. If you wish to be really converted, do not try these penances. Love
Him who has first loved you.” Luther listens and is glad. The day breaks, new
light pours in. “Yes,” said he, “it is Jesus Christ that comforts me so
wonderfully by these sweet and healing words.” In order to true repentance we
must love God! He had never heard this before. Taking this truth as his guide,
he went to the Scriptures. He turned up all the passages which speak of
repentance and conversion; and these two words which were formerly his terror,
now become precious and sweet. The passages which used to alarm him, now
“seemed to run to me from all sides, to smile, to spring up and play around me.
Formerly I tried to love God, but it was all force; and there was no word so
bitter to me as that of repentance. Now there is none more pleasant. Oh, how
blessed are all God’s precepts when we read them not in books only, but in the
precious wounds of the Savior.”
Thus he learned that we are not forgiven because we love God, but we love God because we are
forgiven. We cannot repent, we cannot love, until we have known and
believed the love that
God hath for us. “Herein is love, not that we
loved God, but that He loved us, and gave His Son to be the propitiation for
our sins” (1 John 4:10).
Still Luther’s darkness at times returned.
His sins again went over his soul, and hid the face of God.
“Oh, my sin! My sin! My sin!” cried he, one
day to his aged friend. “What would you have?” said Staupitz. “Would you like
if your sin was not real? Remember, if you have only the appearance of a
sinner, you must be content with the mere appearance of a Savior. But learn
this that Jesus Christ is the Savior of those who are real and great sinners,
and deserving of utter condemnation.”
“Look at the
wounds of Christ,” said he, on another occasion, “and
you will see there shining clearly the purpose of God towards men. We cannot
understand God out of Christ.” But Luther’s peace sometimes gave way, and
his fears returned. He was taken ill and brought down to the gates of death.
Terror again took hold on him. Death seemed full of gloom. It was a fearful
thing to meet a holy God! An old monk visited him in his sickbed, and in him
God gave him another comforter and guide. Sitting at his bedside he repeated
this sentence of the Creed, “I believe
in the forgiveness of sins.”
These words, thus simply and sweetly brought
to mind, were like balm to the soul of Luther. “I believe,” said he to himself,
“the forgiveness of sins.” “Ah, but,” said the old man, “we are not merely to
believe that there is forgiveness for David or Peter; the command of God is
that we believe there is forgiveness for our own sins.” Luther’s spirit was
revived. He found on this rock a sufficient resting place, and his soul
rejoiced in the forgiving love of God.
Thus his weary soul found rest. He was now
like a vessel that has reached its haven. No storm can reach or harm it. He was
like the dove in the clefts of the rock. He was like the man who had reached
the city of refuge. He found himself safe and at rest. Jehovah his
righteousness was his song, and his joy. It was what he saw in Christ that gave
him hope and confidence toward God, and not what he saw in himself.
It was what he knew of Christ and His
righteousness that took away all fear and filled his soul with peace. He
believed and was forgiven. Nor did he reckon it presumption to count himself a
forgiven soul. He gloried and rejoiced in this. He counted it one of the most
grievous of all sins to doubt it. He saw that the gospel was intended to bring
us forgiveness, and to assure us of it. He saw that whenever we really believe
in the gospel, then that forgiveness is as completely and certainly ours as if
we were already in heaven. This was the very life of Luther’s soul. It was this
that made him so bold in the cause of Christ, in all his future life. He was
assured of the favor of God, and that took away all fear of men. There was one
text of Scripture which seems to have been greatly blessed to him.
It was very frequently on his mind during his
many struggles. It was the text which Paul quotes from Habakkuk 2:9, to prove
that we are justified by faith alone: “The just shall live by faith.”
Once, he was sent to Rome on some business,
and he thought that good works done at Rome were better and had more merit than
those done anywhere else. He was told that if he would crawl up a very long
stair, called Pilate’s staircase, on his bare knees, he would acquire a great
stock of merit.
With great earnestness he set himself to do
this miserable penance. While he was crawling up the steps, he thought he heard
a voice like thunder, saying aloud to him, “The just shall live by faith.”
Immediately he started from his knees, and stopped in the middle of the ascent.
The words went to his soul like the voice of God reproving him for his folly.
Filled with shame, he instantly left the place. He saw that it was not by his
works that he was to save himself at all, far less by works such as these — “Not
by works of righteousness which we have done, but by His mercy He saved us”
(Titus 3:5).
At another time, he was appointed to lecture
on divinity. After explaining the Psalms, he came to the Epistle to the Romans.
In studying this he took great delight. He used to sit in his quiet cell for
many hours with the Bible open before him, meditating on that Epistle. The
seventeenth verse of the first chapter fixed his eye, and filled his whole
thoughts: “The just shall live by faith.” In this he saw that there was another
life than that possessed by man in general, and that this life was the fruit of
faith. In the midst of much darkness these simple words were “a
lamp to his feet, and a light to his path.” Clearer light soon dawned
upon his soul, and through him the bright beams of the gospel shot forth upon
the benighted nations of Europe. The conversion of
Luther was the
dawning of the Reformation.
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